I always thought spiritual maturity was measured by my contentment. Contentment in my place in life, what I have or don’t have, and being a satisfied, steady individual.
But what if maturity is measured by thirst rather than satisfaction or contentment? What if maturity is living with the reality that we were created for a world greater than this one? We all have a thirst inside of us that nothing on this earth can satisfy. C.S. Lewis calls it an ‘inconsolable longing.’ Ecclesiastes echos the nature of this longing pointing to how we all live in the exhaustion of unsatisfied desires. Nothing is going to satisfy this thirst while we live on this earth. Maturity is embracing it and allowing the longing to grow and guide us to the source of our thirst.
So what is the source of our thirst, what are we thirsting for? St. John of the Cross calls it ‘union with God,’ or ‘union of love.’ God is love and since eternity past the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) have existed in a loving and joy filled relationship. Our thirst is to join in their Trinitarian dance of true love, joy, and belonging. It is what our souls were created for. This is what we are invited into when our time on Earth is over. Eternity isn’t so much about a place (Heaven) but about finally being able to join in the perfect love and community of the Trinity. Spiritual maturity is longing to taste, experience, and join in the dance even now.
To the extent we can keep our eyes on this larger story, asking how our smaller story (the one we are living between our birth and our death), fits into the larger story of this Trinitarian dance, our thirst will grow. What can this look like on a practical level? Painful joy, as brokenness and disfunction characterize our days here on Earth. This means sitting in the discomfort, no longer numbing the pain. We must believe the Lord is teaching us how to dance, how to love as the Trinity loves one another. He is making us into little Christs that we may join in the dance. In this life we will only catch glimpses of this holy dance and union, sips of living water if you will, but later we will get gulps for all of eternity.
I hope this shift of focus to thirst being the goal brings you hope and freedom. May it give you courage to dig deep in times where you are lacking drive and motivation to ask what am I really after? And may this quest lead you to your unquenchable thirst for union with God. In times where the pain is great, your world is collapsing, and you wonder if you will ever stand again, may the Lord take you beyond yourself to your true hope that can never be shaken. One day you will dance being fully known and loved with the divine Trinity. The journey to the dance is filled with painful joy but this dance, union with love, is what we were made for and what we are all longing for.
The Road We Are On 