How do we discover our true ‘In Christ’ self?
I just finished Chapter 3 ‘Quit Dying to the Wrong Things’ from Emotionally Healthy Woman (#amazon-associate). As Christians we talk about the need to die to ‘self’ and we think of negative things like lying or gossiping. But in this chapter, Geri is suggesting we are dying to some good parts of ourselves that God never called us to die to. In order to discern if we are dying to the wrong things we must have a ‘self’ in the first place.
How do we discover our true ‘In Christ’ self? The person we were created to be before the world got a hold of us and the effects of sin and this broken world shaped us. This is such an important journey to embark on because the reality is we can only give and receive love when we are vulnerable enough to be our true self. We all long to be known, to the depths of our being, but we can only be known and ever truely belong if we share our true self with others.
We armor up and mask our true self with all sorts of things in order to ‘survive’ as we go through life. We have stories that we tell ourselves so we can cope with reality. We stuff certain feelings so that we feel in control of life. We have behaviors that are defense mechanisms that protect us from the world around us.
Enneagram language would be, we have patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing that we instinctively use to cover and protect our true self. Our work is to take off these patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing and be brave to share our true self with others.
The Enneagram is a very helpful tool in discovering who you truly are. I will be posting more on this soon, but there are other things you can do to help discover who you are. These 3 points come from Geri’s FAQ video for Session 3 (#amazon-associate).
1. Pay attention to things that nurture you. Make a list of 20 things that bring you life. It could be anything from shopping in Target alone, to going on a hike, to gardening, or reading a book for pleasure. Make it a goal in the next month to do all the things on your list. Literally check them all off. If traveling to Europe is on your list maybe just set the dates of your trip and start saving money so you know you are working towards this goal.
2. Declare your preferences on a daily basis. Robert Louis Stevenson says, “To know what you prefer… is to keep your soul alive.” Geri goes so far to say you can get a glimpse into your soul and the souls of others if you pay attention to preferences. Practically speaking this can be as simple as stating what movie or restaurant you want to go to instead of always defaulting to others. We have lots of opportunities everyday to exercise this muscle if we will be on the look out.
3. Pay attention to your gifts and your limits. What are you good at? Make sure to notice your gifts. What are natural boundaries the Lord has given you that you need to honor? Limits are gracious gifts from the Lord. Embrace them. Examples: Singleness, children, health, wealth, time, age, etc. Here is an excellent 2 part podcast from Pete Scazzero on Limits if you want to know more. Part 1 Part 2
Where are you on this journey to knowing your true self? Is there something holding you back? What new discoveries have you made about yourself? I would love for you to leave a comment here so we can all celebrate and be encouraged by Christ’s work in you, but more importantly find someone you can meet with face to face and share your discoveries! You are worth it!
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The Road We Are On 