I haven’t posted anything in over 2 weeks. I haven’t read a book for pleasure in over a month. I haven’t been regularly going for walks or doing any exercise for that matter. These are all warning lights for me that my nose has been to the plow and not looking to the right or the left. I haven’t been asking the questions, ‘Is this mine or do?’ Or ‘What does the Lord have for me today, this week?’
Writing these blog posts actually brings me life, and I do think it is the good I am to be doing in this season of life. But I haven’t been doing it. There is some overwhelming fear of the task I see in front of me and all I hope for this to become. But there is more importantly a lie that I have been sitting under and it has been weighing me down and leaving me frozen. It is the idea that I am only as valuable as what I produce. If I am not about something important, producing something of worth, I am waisting my time, my life. Honestly, the lie goes so far as to tell me I might as well not even try if I am not going to contribute something of worth to society. So out of fear of failure I freeze.
My thoughts go something like this: Is this blog ever going to amount to anything? I want this blog to encourage others, pushing them to truth and fullness of life in Christ, but I have no idea if that is actually going to happen. That is out of my control. I get overwhelmed when I google how to connect this blog to Pinterest much less other types of social media. I have so many reservations about social media anyway. What am I doing entering the blogging world??!! And what do I have to say on this subject anyway!
My thought tapes go from questioning what I am doing, to questioning my worth and value. It is such a slippery slope! I think the Lord is so gracious giving us warning lights. Indicators that we are getting sucked up into the busyness of life where we instinctually fall into old patterns of thinking and ways of doing life. Where we step back into the old instead of walking in the newness of life in Christ.
So what can we do? We are going to be fighting this battle until the Lord comes back! Share with someone close to you what you feel like the Lord is calling to be your focus right now and ask them to check in with you and see how it is going. Let them know your warning indicator lights so they can help you notice them. We were made to live in community. It wan’t good for Adam to be alone so don’t think for a second we are any different.
I often have a song that speaks a truth that I desperately need to hear. It changes every so often. It used to be You Have What It Takes by Christ Nockels. Now it is another song from the same album Always Remember To Never Forget (click the song titles to listen and the lyrics are at the bottom of this post).
The first line is, ‘Hey there beautiful one, you there shining with glory’
I could just stop right there and sit for hours. That is not at all how I see myself especially when I have not been doing the good I know He has called me to do! But this truth doesn’t change based on my actions. What freedom and truth to think I shine with His glory not because of what I do for Him but because I am made in His image. I am His!
I love having this song play over me, again and again, really trying to believe it and soak it in. It has been like finding a well in the middle of the dry and barren desert.
What are your warning lights? What song speaks truth over you? Can you relate to the the crazy that is in my head and the battle in my soul daily to live in truth?
Lord be near! Shine your light of truth in the dark corners of our hearts and minds that we don’t even know exist!
Always Remember To Never Forget
Hey there beautiful one, you there shining with glory
Would you let your heart hear, if I sang about you
Did you know that every fairy tale you love
They have borrowed your story
Of a maiden so lovely, and a hero so true
It’s just that this world is hollow
And it wants to swallow
Any memory of who you really are
Always remember to never forget
When you look in the mirror, the answer is yes
Yes you are pure as gold, yes you are beautiful
So always remember to never forget
(Always remember to never forget)
Like a treasure in the deep, your heart is a diamond
And your hero will do what it takes to find it
So he can hold it tenderly, and become your defender
Even lay down his life, to make your heart heal
It’s just that this world is broken
And it want to hold back
Any evidence of, that kind of love
My darling your light, his favourite parade
On a bright sunny day, in the middle of the mossy
Will you still dance, In your favourite dress
And oh he loves when you never forget
So always remember to never forget
So always remember to never, baby never forget
The Road We Are On 